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[ website | www.the-Verb.com ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

In Case You Haven't Heard [27 Mar 2003|04:40pm]
I'm moving to july_vs_august so add me to your friends' list there or you'll never know if I decide to kill myself or someone else.
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Last Update In This Journal [19 Mar 2003|12:39pm]
Eventually I will delete this journal or they will delete it for me.

I moved to: july_vs_august

My AIM is now: july vs august

Say hi.
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For All The Words We Paid For [19 Mar 2003|12:12pm]
Everyone tells me about the sound they make,
but all I can do is complain about how sore my jaw is
as I wipe my nose against my mother's sleeve.
Over and over again they tell me, "Let go; just leave."
The things I hear are different from what passes through my ear.
It's stuffed with sleep, and safety from all I am able to do,
like listening, because my throat is broken
into speech and sentences.
My mother's sleeve sticks to her dead arm
as I wait for her to pat my hair and say,
"Let's leave; we'll just go."
She doesn't and they just say it's alright
and my nose is still running away from it all.
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[18 Mar 2003|08:15am]
One of the scariest things is finding out your friend is an interest topic on livejournal.
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7 LJ Codes Left And Nobody Worth Giving Them Too [18 Mar 2003|07:23am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

This is probably a better sign than what I'm taking it for. If I owned a computer with online access, I'd probably be on the internet all the time looking at barely legal porn because that's what I do when I have the time. That would probably lead to all around boosted internet socializing through all the new crap they have for people to meet sluts and that would lead to the exhaustion of all my LJ codes. Probably.

I tried explaining this thing to my friends and they were just like, "I barely check my e-mail, why would I update a journal?" It's true, they don't check their motherfucking e-mail when I need them to.

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ATTENTION: Do you need an LJ code? [17 Mar 2003|01:15pm]
Stupid me never used up any of my LJ invite codes after paying for a year's worth of LJ a year ago. So I have 8 or 9 leftover because my 3-D friends abstain from netdom. if you need a code, post a comment or e-mail me the_verb@dork.com
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Everything Involves Texas And I Want Nothing To Do With It [12 Mar 2003|01:11pm]
She's from Texas.
She thinks I will go to Texas to meet her family.
I told her that she could only drag me to Texas to drown in the gulf.
She says she's more than happy to do that for me if I meet her family.
I don't want a relationship.
She says I don't have a choice.
I guess I'm okay with that.

go here: http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/148/preacher_gone_to_texas.html

Preacher Gone To Texas = my heart
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[12 Mar 2003|12:51pm]

lesser-known Simpsons character are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.
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[10 Mar 2003|01:47pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

I hate my stupid conceptions of god class. It is one of the most tiring classes I've had.

At this moment, I am currently sick of my best friend's girlfriend.

I think I have a girlfriend, but sort of don't. She's not being very clear and my avoidance of the subject probably doesn't help. At least she looks good when she visits me at work.

I updated the layout of my journal theverb

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Midwestern Hardcore Is An Anthropological Study On How To Be East Coast [08 Mar 2003|12:50pm]
[ mood | tired ]

The first basement show I go to in about 2 years and it involves the same mess of kids it involved back home except nobody could mosh it up and everyone was fat. Seriously, I've never seen that many fat hardcore kids. It wouldn't have been so bad if they all kept their shirts on, but before I knew it someone was screaming about how nudity breaks down power structures. Yeah whatever. Fuck power structures blah blah blah. At least nobody talked about crews.

I went to see my friend Dave's band, Frontside, play and it was pretty good. I've never seen him look that angry what with all his eyes rolling back into his head like he was Rosemary's baby.

In the end I smelled like hardcoreboy sweat and didn't even get to punch someone's teeth out.

I bought a CD by Preacher Gone To Texas which is quite possibly some of the best hardcore music I've heard in a long ass time. They reminded me of Turning Point meets You And I with a little bit of that melodic old emo breakdown of intricate notes and such.

"In this to the virtue we are
One inscription only seen so clear
As honestly as we
As honestly as we see this day
This is not to say that we go on living each day
Unguided and untrue
But that we follow our hearts to this day and through
Inspection, reflection of the inscription within me
Inspect, reflect the inscription within me
Passions, factions of what is in my heart
To be so apart
Love honor benevolence to you my friends
To this I feel I live this day
To this I live I give my faith

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It Isn't Hard To Say Goodbye If You Never Put Yourself In That Predictament, Ever. [06 Mar 2003|01:02pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I call her this time. I'm excited about her visiting Chicago to see me in April. Actually there are 2 people I plan to have visit during April, but she's the more exciting person cause it's been 2 years since I've seen her at all. I giggle and squeal because that's what I do.

It'll be weird. I haven't seen anyone from the east coast in almost a year. Theoretically I should be homesick, but I'm not. I miss some people, and some of those people that I miss will be visiting. I'm still working on making all of the people I miss visit me.

Tomorrow I'm going to see my friend's hardcore band in a basement. I feel like I'm 16 all over again and it's good. If I'm lucky, I can throw up a youth-core sign and people will throw it back. We'll bond, pretend we have the edge and talk about how cool Indecision was back in the day.

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I Opened My Mouth And All I Had Was Sinking Feeling In My Eyes [04 Mar 2003|08:24am]
[ mood | listless ]

Caught in the back of my stomach was my throat. It was trying to make out the words among the mess of lost breath and butterflies down below there. Nothing coming out of my mouth made any sense at all at any time during the conversation. I showed her my bible and that was it. We talked the small talk that only reaches a few feet into someone's life because there just isn't time within 15 minutes to learn about anything from anyone. I had to get to class and I had to exit the situation.

I think I crush on too many people and it's leading to premature ulcers. Crushes are horrible; I would be better to do without them entirely. It's all right to have one, but anything more and you're reduced to ashes and cigarettes falling out from your lips as you to grab on to maybe anything that'll compose you to an upright person. Yes, I started smoking to impress a girl, and I was 10, maybe 12. I kept the cigarettes but not her name. My fumbling hands drop names from my memory and nobody ever bothers to write them down for me.

I haven't written anything seriously in almost 3 months. I really need to haul ass with my FAFSA and other financial crap with school. I really need to quit flaking out on everyone. That's why I need to eliminate the crushes from my life; so I can quit fucking up because of the perpetual anxiety caused by being surrounded by complete strangers who I completely want to be with.

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The Truthful Turnaround Brought To You By Nightmares Upon Each Night [03 Mar 2003|03:35pm]
These phone calls at 2 A.M. are killing me and I can't quite break it to her that it's taxing to hear her talk about how wants to start smoking, drinking, and fucking all over again like they were habits she had quit. It's safe from 700 miles away for her to speak of ice skates, the frozen ocean, and just how horrible the midwest winter really can be. Entirely selfish really - if you ask the right person. Finally we get to a point and she asks me why I'm not sleeping because I never make phone calls unless I can't sleep. I tell her about my nightmares.

"A different dream each night, but the basis is always the same. I'm God to every extent of the contemporary-progressive Christian idea. I can't control anything, and I don't hate anybody. It's like I'm 5 years old all over again. There's always one person whose life I'm concentrating on like I'm supposed to help them, advance them, or watch them helplessly like reading your friend's diary except it all has an X-Men storyline.

Really, it could be the plot from an X-men issue. There was this girl. She ran away from home because she wanted something more from life including prostitution. Unfortunately she was on the street one night when a psychotic right-wing woman who sort of resembled Tipper Gore but with a wallet more like Bill Gates kipnaps her. She's a genetic engineer and needs human guinea pigs to test out cures for cancer, AIDS and everything else. Basically as God, I endow her with powers to help her escape and those powers are given to her through those lousy experiments the psycho-woman does to her. The woman always catches her though; she has cops paid off and most of the town as well as a extremely large complex. A chip is planted into her sternum without anesethetic or pain killers and I feel the entire surgery. There's nothing I can do. I can strongly suggest thoughts to the woman or anybody, but nobody listens. Acting as intuition was frustrating. Finally, I give her the power to morph like Mist could from the X-men, and she escapes, but she always has to run because she won't remove the chip. I keep suggesting to remove the the chip through thought, but she never listens. She keeps running. It just never stops."

And I finish. I tell her that it scares the shit out of me because it makes me believe that there is no control and there is nobody worth saving. She tells me that it's really depressing and I should go to bed.
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[02 Mar 2003|01:59pm]
Looks like everyone and their mom went to Ladytron and rocked on but me.
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She Said The Finer Things In Life Involve Bed Linen [28 Feb 2003|07:23pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

Not that I got to know what the fuck she meant that night. After drinking myself into a stupor, I called up a girl to see if I drunkeningly suck face with her. Unfortunately I ended up analyzing her paintings leading to a pulverizing morning headache and didn't even get to do it with her. I did however, get to see her naked and cuddled. WHATEVER.

Anyway, it seemed to have pissed her off royally that I left at 7:30 A.M. by myself and without saying bye or leaving a note. Yes, I think I'm going to be pulling that sleepover plus morning disappearance stunt more often. I save more money on breakfast that way.

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Something About Sluts Turns Me Into Uber-Misogynist [26 Feb 2003|05:51pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

So this girl I never see or talk to but slept with a bunch of times last year because I could bumped into me and got my phone number because I was with somebody that didn't need to see me run or make an ass of myself (though the truth is everyone needs to eventually see me make an ass of myself because nothing is more entertaining outside of midget castration). She calls every hour and I tell her every hour that I hate her.

Half of my friends now know that I have tricks and hoes on the side and the ridicule will not stop. Nick says, "A real slut doesn't talk back but you have these women who think they've got rights up your ass." It's true, they don't realize that they're just booty calls and booty is as booty stinks.

God damn, why are hot girls with tattoos and piercings even hotter and become progressively dumber the more you smooch with them?

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The Light Of My Life Like A Burnt Out Bulb That Needs Replacement [25 Feb 2003|03:58pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]

I never get around to cutting people off my friends' list till recently, and even then it was only a few people. I cut off people that I don't read or that don't post, and then I added on people that were the lists of people on my list in hopes that they help me put off my 1500 word paper a little more today.

If you're one of those people wondering why you should add me onto your list, well, this isn't much of a promotional more than a solution to my personal boredom.

Maybe I will get to my paper right now.

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And The Lion Told The Mouse That Things Were Bad, Really Really Bad [25 Feb 2003|03:23pm]
[ mood | hot ]

I have a 1500 word paper due in 3 hours and somehow I'm not compelled to start it yet. I'll probably start it in a couple of hours because right now I feel like I need to devote some time to complete and utter nonsenseness.

1. I have decided that nobody should take anything from the School of the Art Institute seriously. I have not seen crappier photography than I have today. Maybe it's because it's in color so what lacks in concept, and execution can be made up for in color (but they're not even pretty colors), and that's why all of these photos are whack, but I don't want to sit through an hour of talking about it.

When it came time to critique my photos everyone was like, "wow, they're so beautiful" or "you were really successful" except for one girl. She was like, "I don't understand the point of them. There's no point to art if it doesn't have a concept." Not only did I say "pft" a whole lot to her, but I totally slammed her with "well I don't understand the point of conceptual art without any asethetic" in reference to her work. Then everyone else started slamming what she said too because they like me are tired of boring concepts poorly executed without any asethetics.

2. It is SO COOL when my ex-girlfriend agrees with me about how the war is good because it leads to the death of many people, and many more deaths in the world is just what we need.

3. I really really want to have a big mac, like now.

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Next Graphic Design Project [24 Feb 2003|03:05pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

We have to create a label for a product you'd find in a market.

Being the nerd that I am, I think I am going to create an entirely new product. It's going to be the "All Purpose Kill Capsule". Basically it's a pill you take to commit suicide or kill someone else. It'll be great.

I was thinking of actually putting a chemical into the pill that would kill, but then I realized that could be taken as an act of chemical terrorism so it'll probably be blue colored sugar or something.

So who wants me to help them die?

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Big Macs [24 Feb 2003|12:55pm]
[ mood | full ]

Alas, the double-cheeseburger special at McDonald's is gone, but now you can get a Big Mac meal for three bucks which is cheaper than the double-cheeseburger meal I was getting.

Thanks to Michelle, this weekly McDonald's outing is changing me. Quite possibly one of the grossest changes is that my hands smell like Big Macs right now and I can't seem to get rid of it.

I have also decided that I need to take up chain smoking again to coincide with my new pretentious art school asshole persona. If everything works out, somebody will murder me before I turn thirty. If I'm lucky, before then.

P.S. - for anyone interested, my graphics for my computer class totally kicked everyone else's ass.

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